I kept a successful blog for many years, but I won't tell you the title.
I don't much feel like that woman now.
This woman has aged, raised fat babies to be intelligent teenagers. She's gone back to Grad School and started a new career.
She bought and sold houses, and lost and found Faith.
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Actually, I'm not sure about that last part... Perhaps I've only lost faith. It feels like that lately--and there was a time even admitting as much made prickles of fear rise on my neck, so conditioned was I not to doubt. Perhaps my faith has shifted shape and color so much I just don't recognize it anymore.
Perhaps doubt is part of true Faith.
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My old blog was named for my unflinching Faith, so strongly identified was I with that hope...
I wonder if you are like me?
I wonder if you, too, have Faith that has shifted during these times? In God, in people, in yourself? Do you also feel your foundations rattle? Do you also wonder at the anger and pain that is on display so readily wounding, and find yourself asking... how?
And...What can we do?
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It is Ram Daas quoting Rumi, who said:
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Maybe for now this is what we do. Take one step in front of the other. For now... Making the Noble Effort to keep going. To keep trying to do our best. To remember, when we have nothing else, we still have a choice. To remember to be kind, because life is damn hard..
I don't know what this new space will be. But maybe I will share my walk, my best noble effort, and you will see yourself reflected in my words sometimes. Perhaps it will help-- you...me...us... To find one another on the road.
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May we know even if we walk by ourselves, we are not walking alone.
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RIP Anthony Bourdain.
